“My soul faints for Your salvation, But I hope in Your word. My eyes fail from searching Your word, Saying, “When will You comfort me?” For I have become like a wineskin in smoke, Yet I do not forget Your statutes. How many are the days of Your servant? When will You execute judgment on those who persecute me? The proud have dug pits for me, Which is not according to Your law. All Your commandments are faithful; They persecute me wrongfully; Help me! They almost made an end of me on earth, But I did not forsake Your precepts. Revive me according to Your lovingkindness, So that I may keep the testimony of Your mouth. Forever, O Lord, Your word is settled in heaven.”
Psalms 119:81-89 NKJV
Settled
One of my greatest troubles is that I do not fit into the boxes that society has set forth for me. We are living in a time when people have become disconnected from one another and seek easy to use stereotypes to identify and define those outside of themselves.
I am a human of odd character, having been created by a volatile mix of childhood trauma, difficult parental legacies, and a general rejection by the cultures I have inhabited. Because of that, any effort to label me falls short, for I am unique, and very much beyond the pale.
Because of all of this, I endure the constant efforts of others to squeeze me into their little boxes, often resulting in my desire to isolate. I have to admit that I do not like people, and mere fact that God has made me an intercessor is nothing short of ironic to say the least, and a miracle at best.
My greatest peace comes from the Lord. When I said yes to Jesus, I found that I fit in an eternal reality far greater than that of the flesh, and I felt I belonged for the first time in my life.
In those moments when I find myself wrestling with the onslaught of those with lesser minds, whose god is their flesh, seeking to define me, I am taken back to the Lord’s word.
Forever, the word is settled in Heaven, and my identity in Christ is settled in eternity.
“O Lord, You have searched me and known me. You know my sitting down and my rising up; You understand my thought afar off. You comprehend my path and my lying down, And are acquainted with all my ways. For there is not a word on my tongue, But behold, O Lord, You know it altogether. You have hedged me behind and before, And laid Your hand upon me. Such knowledge is too wonderful for me; It is high, I cannot attain it.”
Psalms 139:1-6 NKJV
He knows me.
Reading Psalm one hundred nineteen again this morning, I harken back to those days, sometimes filled with frustration. I search the Scriptures looking for relief, hoping that the Lord will address the wrongs, even going so far as to demand that the Lord stop the hearts of those who oppose me. It is in those moments of precatory crying out to God, that I am reminded: God is the only one who matters.
In the aftermath of my whining, I am comforted and thankful that the Lord is fully aware that I am but dust. Precatory prayers become prayers for blessing, for spiritual growth of those I feel are against me, for they know not what they do. I also become introspective, looking to my inward parts and seeing the ugliness in me, and my own evil. I remember that I was once in opposition to God, a sinner for whom Jesus died.
Brothers and sisters, we will face many things in the coming days, weeks, months and perhaps years. Our very reputations will be questioned, as they have been since the ministry of our Lord Jesus. Let us remember His example, as he dealt daily with those who hated Him, for He has warned us before hand that we would face the same struggles.
““If the world hates you, you know that it hated Me before it hated you. If you were of the world, the world would love its own. Yet because you are not of the world, but I chose you out of the world, therefore the world hates you. Remember the word that I said to you, ‘A servant is not greater than his master.’ If they persecuted Me, they will also persecute you. If they kept My word, they will keep yours also.”
John 15:18-20 NKJV
In the darkness to come, let us run to the word, seeking the truth in its pages, and the timeless reminders that are in it. As a follower of Jesus, you know that the Father knows you, that He loves you, that He has a place for you in eternity. We rest on these things in times of trouble.
Jesus has left us the Helper, the Holy Spirit, our liaison with the Father. Through Him, we have the understanding of the love letter He has left us in the Holy Scriptures. May we pore of the contents of the Bible, remembering His love, and reliving that moment when we came to know Him. May we be like lovers, breathing in the fragrance of our beloved, in this case breathing in the fragrance of Christ.
Let us pray for those who revile us, and be faithful to tell them about Jesus. For those near us, let us reflect the love of the Lord in all interactions, that they have room to repent, for judgment starts in the household of God. Let us be also mindful of what we bring to the interaction, for it takes two to tangle.
Seek the Lord daily, desiring that He examine us, showing us our weaknesses. We have been given a mission and we must be about the Father’s business unimpeded by our own struggles and unconfessed sins.
“Search me, O God, and know my heart; Try me, and know my anxieties; And see if there is any wicked way in me, And lead me in the way everlasting.”
Psalms 139:23-24 NKJV
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Musings from an idle mind 
You are fearfully and wonderfully made my friend. Thank you for your hard work!
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Actually all that I do is easy. Typically one draft in under 45 minutes. I do it all from the overflow.
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