The razor’s edge

““For this reason I say to you, do not be worried about your life, as to what you will eat or what you will drink; nor for your body, as to what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing?”
‭‭Matthew‬ ‭6:25‬ ‭NASB‬‬

The razor’s edge

I remember the days of security. I got up in the morning and I could will myself through my days. I was in a position where I could make plans and look forward. It was a time when I felt like I was in control, like I was the determiner of my fate. During this time, my life was in the midst of the envelop. My path was wide, and I felt secure day by day.

That was then.

Today, to awaken at all, is the first step. I go to bed with no real certainty that my next waking moment will be on this side of eternity. Instead of willing myself through my days, I measure each step. Everyday I walk on the razor’s edge, between provision and lack, health and sickness. There is no certainty. I don’t make plans anymore. I plan for the day, and little beyond that.

Everyday, there is the potential for anxiety to fill me, as I feel that if the bottom falls out, I am on my own. What sustains me is my memory of the faithfulness of my Great God. He has delivered me day after day, moment by moment. As a believer in Jesus Christ, I am never on my own. I can say that He has never let me down. I must admit that the situation that the entire world finds itself in is not new to me. My life is largely quarantined. Because of my lowered immune system I am careful as a matter of practice.

Through the grace of God, I can empathize with people whose lives have been turned upside down. My life was flipped on its head a number of years ago, when my kidneys began to fail. Very suddenly I was placed in a new reality. What helped me was my constant reminding myself of the goodness of He who died for my sins. Jesus’ words above are a constant reminder that I needed fear. God knows what I need.

Notice how I said, “He knows what I need.” I think sometimes we get wants and needs confused. I have to admit that I have not always gotten what I wanted. When I want, I am more than likely appealing to my flesh. I want pleasure, I want fun, I want things that offer momentary amusement. I can live without the things I want. I cannot live without the things i need.

As I have matured under the loving and refining hand of God, I have noticed that my wanter has changed. Rather than momentary satisfaction, I find lasting joy as I want the presence of my God. I want His word transforming my heart and my mind, I want to worship Jesus with reckless abandon. I have found that there is no end to Him!

In the changing of my wanter, and the provision of my needs, I have found that God is truly Jehovah Jireh, my provider. I have found that, as I want less of what this world offers, I have greater peace. I am content.

We are in a time when many people are in dire need. We are caught in the grip of the pliers of this pandemic, being squeezed by the need for safety and the need for provision. Believers, remember that your God knows what you need. He cares for you. Give your worries to Him. He is faithful. In doing so, you have a cure for your anxiety. I can tell you from experience that anxiety is very destructive.

I can remember days filled with worries, at times the pressure would manifest in the form of tense muscles, grinding teeth, over eating, over drinking, and propensity to seek things that took my attention away, albeit momentarily, from my problems. Of course, my efforts to alleviate the stress, simply led to more consequences and more things to cause stress. A viscous circle with of satisfaction and no escape.

The consequences of all of that have had an impact on my life. I walk that razor’s edge, balanced between provision and lack, between sustenance and hunger, home and homelessness. But in the midst of it all, He has provided everything , all the time. I marvel how He has made a way for me.

I focus on putting the first things first. My first thing is seeking the righteousness of God.

“But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.”
‭‭Matthew‬ ‭6:33‬ ‭NASB‬‬

You will find comfort in the Lord. All your anxiety will fade away. Open your bible and be reminded of how God has been faithful. Pray for others. You will be amazed how God provides as you pray for the needs of others. Worship. I remember the day I was told years ago that I had cancer. When the doctors left the room, I put on Brian Doerksen’s TODAY cd and began to worship. That moment was magical.

He is in the midst of of your darkest night, He is the Son of your brightest day. Look to Him!

THE PRAYER CHAIR IS OPEN! Send me your requests!

One thought on “The razor’s edge

  1. That is a new to me definition of “Security.“ Thank you so much Bernie.

    I’m going to do some catch-up on your blogs now. When I miss your blog, it kind of feels like I miss seeing you. I do continue to pray for you early and often, and really appreciate your prayers. Thank you for your ongoing encouragement, my dear friend.


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