Contrition

“The LORD is near to those who have a broken heart, And saves such as have a contrite spirit.”
‭‭Psalms‬ ‭34:18‬ ‭NKJV‬‬

Contrition

When we look at ourselves, we see the best picture, one which glosses over the faults and realities we don’t wish to see and admit. We go about fooling ourselves. I am a master of self ignorance and purposeful delusion. For so many years I cheered within myself of the virtues that I thought I had. I thought of myself as special. I ignored the things that were wrong in my life, and did not heed the assessments of others. I looked in the mirror of self and only saw what I wanted, rather than what really was.

Coming to salvation in Jesus Christ was predicated by a season of emotional destruction, where God stripped away the mirror, which was a snapshot of my best self, and replaced it with the mirror of His holiness: the word of God. Instead of all the virtue and goodness that I thought I had, I saw the beast within. I realized I was one worthy of hell.

In my spiritual infancy, I made every effort to color my reality with pleasing tones, to somehow ignore the smudges. I saw truth in the word, that showed me reality, but I resisted, for a time. I was like the person in James 1:23-24: “For if anyone is a hearer of the word and not a doer, he is like a man who looks at his natural face in a mirror; for once he has looked at himself and gone away, he has immediately forgotten what kind of person he was.”

I read the word, but did not do it. As God brought brokenness into my life, His word became a mirror always before me. I could not escape the reality of who I was in the flesh, as the stress of loss of health, the humiliation of facing the reality of my true self, brought my sin to the surface. In the dark, all looks clean and in order, when the bright light comes on, the disorder and filth is seen. My life was being placed against the bright light of the glory of God.

Gone was my past pride, the high esteem of who I thought I was and my self-professed goodness. I became one, most unloved, most unworthy, most worthy of damnation. I also discovered the grace of God. In the aftermath of the stripping away of all I held dear, He gave me Himself. What I treasured and held dear, paled in comparison to the glory of Jesus.

I walk with a broken heart over the sin of my past, and the sin that waits to seize me when I take my eyes off Jesus. I have found in my mourning, that God is very near. He has also been near in times of trouble. As I have faced much loss, and battle loneliness and isolation, I am struck by His presence in my day to day. Each morning is amazing as I bow my heart and seek Him. His word is piercing my heart like never before! He has guided me to great music in which to lead me in worship. I am especially drawn to hymns, that speak of God’s attributes.

Believers, you have a God who is near! He is a God who sees you, who knows your weaknesses, is your strength, and waits for you to humble yourself, look in the mirror of His word and be changed. He will also there when you are broken-hearted.

Our Lord knows of our hurts. Jesus suffered the pain of separation from the Father when He paid for our sins on the cross, God the Father knows of hurt as He gave His Son to the cross. The Holy Spirit is in us, in the midst of our pain and struggle. I have never felt alone! HE IS HERE!

Non believers. Know that you too, can know the presence of the Lord in the time you are broken-hearted. You must first know that you are a sinner. Yes. You are a sinner. In your best, you are bound for eternity in hell. There is no specific sin that put you there, but the fact that you, descended from that sinner Adam, and you are condemned already.

But Jesus!

He died to pay for your sins, and by asking Him to forgive you, you can be forgiven. By the power of His resurrection, you can be made new as His Holy Spirit comes to live in you.

God loves a contrite heart, one bowed and surrendered. I gloried in things that were low, now I bow down to glory and am exalted in my humiliation. At the feet of my Savior, there is no higher calling.

May I be ever broken!

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