“Whenever I am afraid, I will trust in You.”
Psalms 56:3 NKJV
Our world is cast in darkness and the world is being governed by fear. We are facing the unseen enemy, that has the power to cause people to seek safety at any cost. Some seek safety by staying home, cleansed, and safe from the plague, willing to sacrifice all, even sanity. Others seek safety by running headlong into the unknown, spiking infection, hoping to salvage jobs, futures, business, and a normal way of life, all the while prolonging the agony of an infected world. All are driven to unhealthy behaviors by fear.
When I was a child, I was afraid of the dark. My parents put a nightlight in my room so that I could feel safe. I worried about the uncertainty of the dark of my room. What I could not see, captured my attention. As time past I learned to love the darkness, and my fear went away.
As I grew older, various realities in my life created a different kind of
darkness. This was a emotional and spiritual darkness, that cast a pall on every part of my life. I went about under a cloud. My fear was at apex, as I worried each day about what shoe would drop next. Like any human, I sought to find distractions to ease my fears. The things I relied on, only deepened my fear, as they had consequences that made life more miserable. I was like that little child of my past, fearful in the dark room, wondering what evil would befall me.
In the months leading up to Jesus entering my life, the darkness was profound and my fear beyond limits. As each year of my life came and went, I was increasingly aware of my mortality. A significant number of the people I grew up with had either died or went to prison, and many more black men were dying in the epidemic of black on black gang violence. I was at a point where I even feared going out at night. I was amazed that I had made it to my late thirties.
That man, with the broken, fearful little boy inside, reached through the darkness and was found by the Light. The fear went away. I was like a little child, picked up and embraced by the Father, who brought comfort. He held me, wiped away my tears, and replaced fear with His love. That nightlight was now in my heart, and all of my inside was a light!
In the years since, I have known darkness many times, as health issues, and inevitable life transitions have had an impact on my life. My darkest season was the year I watched my father disappear before my eyes as dementia robbed him of his essence one day at a time. Coupled with this, I had debilitating conditions after my kidney transplant that made each day of life nearly impossible.
Even in that darkness I could still see the light of God, shining and leading the way. I truly received power from on high to survive.
I have learned time and time again, that when I am afraid, I can trust in Him. I dwell on the narrowest of of life paths, with shear drops on all sides. I have much to fear everyday, even more now, in this age of pandemic. Instead, I trust in God.
I think this present time is a test of faith for many. We are in a place where we have to really ask if we truly trust the Lord. There is no man made solution to this situation. Vaccines are months away, if they ever come. Even in those, there is no panacea, and possibly more problems. Many will pass on vaccines all together, meaning the virus will always be with us. Fortunately, so will the Lord.
This is a time where we must trust the Lord. It is time to get real with ones faith. I know that He cares for me and He has demonstrated it time and time again. This is a Proverbs 3 moment for the world.
“Trust in the LORD with all your heart And do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He will make your paths straight. Do not be wise in your own eyes; Fear the LORD and turn away from evil.”
Proverbs 3:5-7 NASB
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